WWHPD?

I'm no where close to being homeless. Sure, I've worked with my fair share, I've given change to some and food to others and at Saint Joe's we'd go around Philly telling the ones on the street where the shelters were, but thank the Lord, I've never been homeless. Why would I be thinking about the homeless now? We just moved into our new pad for pete's sake! But we have no heat yet and it is cold and raining outside. Japanese houses are known for their poor insulation and their meat locker-esque temperatures in the winter times. This is no joke. At one point i was huddled in a ball on a military issued couch with only enough flesh exposed to jot down my thoughts on paper. The kerosene heaters the military delivered to us this morning have no kerosene in them, go figure. And our blankets and winter coats from home will not be delivered until tomorrow. Bullocks. I am wearing a wool hat, two fleece jackets, a sweatshirt, sweatpants under jeans, and two pairs of ski socks and I'm still chilly. That's got me thinking---WWHPD? What would a homeless person do? Too bad I threw away the newspapers this morning when cleaning out our room at the lodge. They keep in the heat I hear. I could never be homeless, I don't have the stamina for the cold. A lot of people knock the homeless for being this or being that, but i can't do what they're doing and i bet you can't either. So what would a homeless person do? Nothing, I guess just sit it out and wait to thaw in Spring. And then it hit me. Aha, the heated toilet seat! It's like a homeless person's city steam vent. With much excitement I dashed into the bathroom and opened the door to the toilet. The bathroom is actually broken up into three spaces. There is a door to the potty, a shower door that leads to a huge shower and soaking tub, and a space with the sink and medicine cabinet that connects the two. So there I was staring at the buttons next to the toilet-- too many button and all in Japanese. So I just started pushing them and watched what would happen. First button, nothing. Second button, a light came on but nothing else. Third button, a soft errrrr erupted from the back of the seat. Uh oh I thought. Before I knew it a small nozzle swung down from underneath the rear of the seat and squirted out a strong stream of water. No way! I just found the bidet. It caught me off guard and because I was standing in front of the toilet when it went off I was hit with the stream of water right in the thigh! I didn't know how to turn it off so I just put my hand over it until the thing stopped. So much for getting warm. At least I had a good laugh. I guess I too will just have to sit it out and wait to thaw. At least I have a home.